Notes to Self

Wow.  My first "relationship" if you can call it that with a woman (I don't even know if I'd call her that because quite frankly, I now realize she acted very much like a teenage girl with several issues she's too afraid to admit to), did not end well.  I can not believe I allowed myself to be manipulated like that.  Our relationship was never solid to begin with and my aunt was right about one thing- there were several red flags I chose to ignore because I was too wrapped up in having my first girlfriend and too nice to call them on not wanting to grow up and better themselves until after they ended it.  If you don't want to grow up and change and admit you might just need professional help because your previous relationships haven't worked out either, than I guess your not worth my pity, which is what I really felt towards this person. 

Red flag number one:  Making it a requirement of the relationship to have it posted on Facebook.  Now, don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong with posting your relationship status on Facebook, but to make it a requirement of your partner is just wrong.  Relationships are about respecting your partners wishes, and don't make up some excuse about "oh, I don't want to have to hide it."  That's fine then don't, but if your partner doesn't want it on Facebook respect their wishes.  It's the right thing to do.

Red flag number two:  Lives at home with parents/parent, doesn't have a job and doesn't really see that if your over 18, you are a guest in your parents home.  Now, if this is just a transition between jobs or between places that's fine.  So long as you give the owners of the home common courtesy of following their rules (it is their home after all) and asking if it's OK if people come over before you talk to the people you want to bring over.  It doesn't matter if your parent/parents will be OK with it,  the polite thing to do is ask and get premission beforehand.

Red flag number three:  You really don't have much in common with them and there's lots of miscommunication right off the bat.  Sure, we were both writers and misfits in high school, but that was where our commonalities ended.  Also, they started asking me questions about my possible future relationships, after the relationship had ended, which at this point, is none of their business.

All this being said, this still doesn't change my attraction toward woman and I've learned a lot about what I want out of a partner and what I don't want and I do know, that I need to be single for awhile to sort all of this sh*t out and purge myself of this negative influence. 

I really don't need an immature girl too afraid to admit they might just be the reason their previous relationships haven't worked out, who just turns around and calls me judgemental when I decide I don't even want to even be friends with them. 

Besides, it was them who thought we'd be better friends in the first place.  Yes, I did agree at the time because I hadn't begun to fully process what was going on and how I really felt towards them.  But, just because I've figured out I don't need their negative influence in my life anymore and that they really aren't worth my pity, doesn't give them the right to say "you'll never get a girlfriend if you treat people this way", "you're stuck up and judgemental,", etc.  Seriously?  What kind of naive fantasy are you living in?  Certainly not one I want to be a part of.  All just because multiple people most likely called on some issues you have.   If that's not a sign of someone whose got issues, I don't know what is and someone who wants to change and is mature, will take a look at themselves and say "you know what, maybe they're right, lets see what an objective third party has to say."

Sorry for the long rant.  I just really need to get this out of my system.

Sayonara

Leptin Reset: Update

Hi all,

I decided to stop the Leptin Reset RX via Dr. Jack Kruse because I just can't eat 50g of protein in one sitting.  I can eat about 30g before I start getting reflux. Also, I've realized I just can't do 50g of carbs or less for very long anymore.  After about a week or two I wasn't feeling very good and didn't really have as much energy as I thought I should have.  It helped me get out of a weight loss plateau and get my carbs back under 100g a day, but it isn't very good for me long term.  I just need some more healthy carbs.

I also started reading his Facebook posts and didn't really agree with some of them.  And, if you think it's ok to drop your pants in a department store just to show your weight loss, than sorry but I'm going to start questioning what you say.  So, yeah, Dr. Jack Kruse is out.  Even unfriended him on Facebook.

I'm going back to just plan ol' Primal Blueprint like before.

Sayonara!